On Real Trust and Real imperfection

I think my biggest problem with trust has always been this stark awareness of my own ability to mess things up.  I’m learning how — trusting and believing– they’re very closely related.  I remember how the amplified Bible often included “clinging, trusting, depending on” as it explored the depth and beauty of the language from which we translated “believe”.

But trusting Him…clinging to Him, it’s not really about me.  It’s about who He is, what He says. His trustworthiness.

And what will it be? No, what is it?  Because, I really can’t control what I will choose in five years, five days, five minutes.  I can only choose in this moment.  It’s all I’ve been given in this realm of time and space.

Real trust keeps believing and swallowing the life-sustaining, enough-for-this-day peace-Bread He offers.  And Jesus is that Bread.  And He keeps on giving, because He is Living Bread.  Real trust surrenders the perceived  need for any exemptions from the command, “don’t worry about anything, but pray about and give thanks for all things.”  Real trust allows for perception change when that, which we cannot see as grace, becomes a deeper glimpse into the heart of a God Who is Love, and has a plan that is good, and which nothing can thwart.

Because He knew how anxiety gets us into so much trouble.  How it twists our stomachs, our hearts, and the paths that He would make straight.  And how He really is using it for conforming these images to the Image.  And how it strangles the peace, chokes the faith sustaining our intimacy.  Paralyzes these clay jars that He purposed for all-surpassing-greatness revealing.  And how all worry is just “this desperate clinging to wanting things my own way”.

Real trust can only be if there is a God who is good and loves me.

“Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7

“In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength.” Isaiah 30:15

“Then they asked him, ‘What must we do to do the works God requires?’  Jesus answered, ‘The work of God is this: to believe in the One he has sent.'”  John 6:28-29

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever would believe on Him, would have eternal life.” John 3:16

“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love.  Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.” 1 John 4:16

“And this is His command: to believe in the name of His Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as He commanded us.” 1 John 4:23